no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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