Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize