What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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