Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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