I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
