I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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