needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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