When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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