That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize