So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i think im in europe. pls send help
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
