ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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