Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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