After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
