Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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