Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
