I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My ass is underappreciated
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
