Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
