i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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