Umm I'm too high to move.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
