week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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