Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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