found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
