So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
