He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
