This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
