he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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