either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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