For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
