I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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