So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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