Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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