Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
