please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
