i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
