Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
