the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
