I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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