respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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