Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
