Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
