What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't notice because vodka
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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