I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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