The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
