I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
