Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
