chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
