What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize