just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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