the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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