Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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