I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
