She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
