ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
