the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
