I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
These tits shall not be calmed
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
