Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
