I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
