I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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