I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
