I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
