fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
