I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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