But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
