Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
